a weirdish sigh

lifes funny. uh, scratch that. its not funny. but sometimes i think you have to say its funny, otherwise youll just end up crying.

my sister likes to believe that the universe is constantly working for us, not against us and that everything happens for a reason, even the super sucky stuff. but sometimes, i think she even doubts her theories a little bit.

for lack of a better word, lets say lifes "suckiness" has different levels.

like...when you go to starbucks for a grande white mocha (because youve had the longest night ever, youd rather be sleeping, and you need the caffeine because you already know that youll be the only one at the office because nobody else has to work on mondays...) and the cashier tells you, "oh, im sorry-we're out." out? of what? coffee?? thats like hot dog on a stick saying "oh, sorry-we ran out of hot dogs." seriously?

or...when youre at work and your boss starts demanding all kinds of random things (daily meetings, paper towels that have to go on the top shelf and only the top shelf, new forms for everything, etc) and the moment you finish all of them, he looks at you like, "what? why are you doing it like that?" arrrghhh!!

or...you start a book thats an incredibly hard read for you (mere christianity), but you have to finish reading it because its a book and you have to because you said you would, but its dry and a little bit boring and you find yourself reading the same page over and over and over again because youve already forgotten what happened two sentences ago. *yawn*

or...when you suffer from attending one too many pity parties. you start missing things/people you shouldnt. you start pulling "what if"s, "i should have"s and "why didn't i"s out of your butt.

*sigh*

but really...i suppose its not that life sucks; life just didnt go the way we wanted it to. i would love to live in my sisters world but bunnies, chicks and rainbows are a bit too much for me sometimes. instead, id like to think that whoever it is up there, running the universe, gives us just enough, and its never more than we can handle. and maybe thats the trick-learning how to handle the "sucky" things that come into our life.so if i really thought about those supposed "sucky" moments again...

no white mocha-i ordered a grande caramel macchiato instead, which seemed to have more caffeine and kept me up longer than my usual would have.

my boss's random demands that he forgets about-i get so busy trying to take care of what he wants, everyone else on staff has to run the office. which means theyre learning, and using what theyve learned and *gasp* they are so much more capable than they think they are!

dry books-i still havent finished it, but heres to hoping!

pity parties-everybody goes to those once in awhile. but once you leave, it makes you appreciate what you do have a little bit more. and youre a little more open to all the chances and moments that have yet to come.

hmmm...maybe my little sister is right after all; maybe the universe does work for us.

but in my life, its just a little more indirect about it.
besides with that whole crying thing, a very smart girl once told me that crying isnt always bad. she said it "flushes out the heart" =)