stumbled on this while i was googling-egret. (dont ask)
it was a short list of recommendations on how to live life free of regret. its not bad, so i thought id share.
1) Apologize, mean it and move on
*moving on is definitely something that i need to work on...
2) Appreciate who you've become through your trials and tribulations
3) As you know better, do better
*...
4) Be honest with yourself
5) Be someone others can count on
6) Dare to dream and experience your dreams
7) Eliminate fear from your life
*i think this one is my favorite. i refrain from so many things in my life because im scared.
scared that im not making the wrong choice; scared that im going to get hurt (emotionally &
physically); scared of what to say, what not to say, and even how to say it; scared that 'bachi' will bite me,
hard, in the @ss; etc etc ETC...
8) Laugh more than you cry and compliment more than you complain
9) Treat others the way you want to be treated
10) Walk by faith.
*its funny, im not really a religious person. in fact, i used to be an atheist. now, i think i might be agnostic,
with some faith in the overall 'goodness' of the human race =)
id add a few things to that list, though:
11) love with your whole heart, even if its patched up & taped together
12) live every day as though it might be your last; dont rely on "tomorrow"
happy, joyful days!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
happy 2010
so, heres what i think: i think we use the "new year" as an excuse to start over.
theres really no way to "start over" - i mean really, its not like you can start brand new, clean slate, blahblahblah. the best we can hope to do is to learn from our past mistakes and make a conscious effort not to repeat them.
and resolutions? i make them, you make them, we all make them. but why? they all eventually get broken anyway. so really, why bother? is it just to put it out there so the universe can hear it? or is it to make our friends and family keep us to them? (switching responsibility from ourselves to others, which is probably not a good thing anyway...) or maybe its just tradition. who knows.
i made one this year-i promised myself that i wouldnt spend so much time needlessly worrying about stuff. yeah right, like thats going to happen. needless worrying is in my genes. suffice it to say, i broke my resolution yesterday. (surprise surprise) i have thus decided to embrace the worry gene. =) in fact, ive been trying to embrace all the quirks and idiosyncrasies that are me-my friends seem to love the weirdo me, so why shouldnt i? =)
mmm..i guess what im trying to blog out of my system is that, 2009 wasnt all bad. i learned a lot about myself, about my family, and about my friends. i ended the year on a very meditative and reflective note and id like to think im starting the year the same way. which is good, knowledge is power after all. im also trying to rid my little world of everything negative-i think it rubs off-and be more embracing of anything good and happy (even if it scares me sometimes).
so... happy new year! lets make this year better than last year =)
theres really no way to "start over" - i mean really, its not like you can start brand new, clean slate, blahblahblah. the best we can hope to do is to learn from our past mistakes and make a conscious effort not to repeat them.
and resolutions? i make them, you make them, we all make them. but why? they all eventually get broken anyway. so really, why bother? is it just to put it out there so the universe can hear it? or is it to make our friends and family keep us to them? (switching responsibility from ourselves to others, which is probably not a good thing anyway...) or maybe its just tradition. who knows.
i made one this year-i promised myself that i wouldnt spend so much time needlessly worrying about stuff. yeah right, like thats going to happen. needless worrying is in my genes. suffice it to say, i broke my resolution yesterday. (surprise surprise) i have thus decided to embrace the worry gene. =) in fact, ive been trying to embrace all the quirks and idiosyncrasies that are me-my friends seem to love the weirdo me, so why shouldnt i? =)
mmm..i guess what im trying to blog out of my system is that, 2009 wasnt all bad. i learned a lot about myself, about my family, and about my friends. i ended the year on a very meditative and reflective note and id like to think im starting the year the same way. which is good, knowledge is power after all. im also trying to rid my little world of everything negative-i think it rubs off-and be more embracing of anything good and happy (even if it scares me sometimes).
so... happy new year! lets make this year better than last year =)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
cant be roses all the time
guess there really is no such thing as perfect.
exasperated, exhausted, a little sad kind of sigh today...but its been like that for about a week now...
when i think about it, my life is pretty good, minus the love life of course (its either non-existent or it just plain sucks). liiiiike...the familys good. the friends are good. my arts&crafts are good. the fit is good. even work is good. its very much that whole, i can count my blessings thing.
lately though, its like ive exchanged one for the other.
love life is still non-existent, but i am having the worst/best teenagery crush on this guy at the moment. one of those, makes me smile when he says 'hi,' cant think of anything to say when hes around, makes me shy (like i cant talk to him shy...not something usual for me. at all) kind of teenagery crush. ok sorry...back on track...
feels like because i have this typically void kind of happy going on, something else in my arsenal of happy has to give. thankfully its not the family or friends, but its work.
f*ck the sigh, that bullsh*t gets a grrrrrrr today.
dont get me wrong, work is lame all the time, but i usually handle it better. like once its 5pm, im done. lately...not so much.
migraines, tightness in my chest, bursts of "I HATE THIS PLACE! IM QUITTING" squatting on its haunches right behind my teeth, waiting for that split second i leave my mouth open for a moment too long.
my boss is a super nice guy, but the most disorganized, noncommittal, whats the opposite of a good businessman?, man. ever. one day its red, and the next day its blue. oh! and he thinks im magical and have ESP.
love the staff to death-theyre the nicest, sweetest bunch of people ever...but if i hear "it wasnt me" or "i dont know..i didnt do it" one more time... *sigh makes me feel like im living in that comic strip where the kids blame the little nonexistent child for everything (who, by the way, is named "Wasnt Me" or something like that). and i think they expect me to do too much stuff; everything thinks its my own fault because i do too much, but still...do i look like a walking "in box"??!
you know what i hate about my job the most? it feels like a lot of people there have an "it doesnt affect me, so who cares" attitude. like when i talk to them i can almost see an "oh well" exuding out of their little pores. i know, i know...its only a job, but do you know how horribly, awful it is to get:
"god. we are so disorganized"
"we are disorganized because we need to have a system"
paige: "we have a system. but whats the point of having a system is the people dont work with it"
"its not the people, its the system. YOU need to come up with a better system"
"did you finish yet?"
"its not my fault-i asked you and you said it was fine" (keeping in mind i was probably asked while in the middle of something, half@ss paying attention, they shouldnt be asking me what they can do on their own...)
"you do it" (after ive already stated ive done the best i can do, and i cant do anything more, but the 'job' still isnt done)
oh, and the kicker-my sister says IM making the morale at the office sh*t and since i hate my job so much shes going to tell my boss i quit (yeah. i work with my sister. not one of my boss's brightest ideas). funny thing is-when im stressed out, its stupid and i should quit. when im off and she has to fill in for me it suddenly becomes too hard, too much, and too stressful. um, hello? hypocrite much?
now i know im a perfectionist and a little bit OCD, and i know its not like im moving any higher in the company or i own the dang place, but still...
*sigh sucks to have to vent, but i feel a little better. ehh...not really.
but dang. does one thing always have to get exchanged for another??!
Friday, March 13, 2009
"hello?" ... "who is this? the universe?!?"
so i promised myself that if the universe sent me any more signs, id listen. (as opposed to my usual, "stickmyfingersinmyears&closemyeyes" method of ignoring them.)
this go around, it came by way of my moms friend. like me, she devours books and frequently lends me books that she thinks i might enjoy. this time was the miraculous journey of edward tulane by katie dicamillo. she warned me that it was a childrens book, but exceptional nonetheless. she was right.
i want so very much to leave an excerpt here, but it might give something or other away, and if anyone who reads my blog decides to read the book (which y'ALL should) i dont want to ruin anything...
ill leave this instead:
"the heart breaks and breaks
and lives by breaking.
it is necessary to go
through dark and deeper dark
and not to turn
-from the testing-tree
(its either part of the dedication or the preface, but thats how i knew i would fall in love with the book.)
i didnt read the book right away (which is weird, because im a junkie when it comes to books), and it sat for a bit, but ended up opening it at exactly the right time. when i finished, it felt like the universe was bonking me in the head and waving at me while screaming, "hello?!! are you listening?!!!"
mmm...guess this is just my way of "putting it out there" and telling the universe that yes, i definitely "get it."
hah...guess the universe does really work for you, not against you. high-five miss tarin! Xp
this go around, it came by way of my moms friend. like me, she devours books and frequently lends me books that she thinks i might enjoy. this time was the miraculous journey of edward tulane by katie dicamillo. she warned me that it was a childrens book, but exceptional nonetheless. she was right.
i want so very much to leave an excerpt here, but it might give something or other away, and if anyone who reads my blog decides to read the book (which y'ALL should) i dont want to ruin anything...
ill leave this instead:
"the heart breaks and breaks
and lives by breaking.
it is necessary to go
through dark and deeper dark
and not to turn
-from the testing-tree
(its either part of the dedication or the preface, but thats how i knew i would fall in love with the book.)
i didnt read the book right away (which is weird, because im a junkie when it comes to books), and it sat for a bit, but ended up opening it at exactly the right time. when i finished, it felt like the universe was bonking me in the head and waving at me while screaming, "hello?!! are you listening?!!!"
mmm...guess this is just my way of "putting it out there" and telling the universe that yes, i definitely "get it."
hah...guess the universe does really work for you, not against you. high-five miss tarin! Xp
Friday, February 20, 2009
pearls of wisdom
(first of all, why are they called "pearls"?)
i love advice. mmm...let me take that back-i love good advice. and the fun part about good advice is most times, people give it without even thinking about it!
like...
always say "please" and "thank you" - its just good manners.
dont let your choices make you; you make your choices.
when you figure out "you," the rest of life will fall into place.
like attracts like. (ie. happy attracts happy and sad attracts sad)
if its right, it just works; its not a struggle to make it work.
the customer is always right.
once a cheater, always a cheater.
people are like puzzle pieces. if 2people are meant to be together, theyll just fit.if theyre the wrong 2pieces,you cant make them fit, no matter how many times you try to mash them together.
find your joy and incorporate it into your life as much and as often as possible.
make the most of your today because you might not always have an extra tomorrow.
always do your very best in everything.
i love advice. mmm...let me take that back-i love good advice. and the fun part about good advice is most times, people give it without even thinking about it!
like...
always say "please" and "thank you" - its just good manners.
dont let your choices make you; you make your choices.
when you figure out "you," the rest of life will fall into place.
like attracts like. (ie. happy attracts happy and sad attracts sad)
if its right, it just works; its not a struggle to make it work.
the customer is always right.
once a cheater, always a cheater.
people are like puzzle pieces. if 2people are meant to be together, theyll just fit.if theyre the wrong 2pieces,you cant make them fit, no matter how many times you try to mash them together.
find your joy and incorporate it into your life as much and as often as possible.
make the most of your today because you might not always have an extra tomorrow.
always do your very best in everything.
theyre called "exes" for a reason.
tip whenever you can, and remember to tip well. if the service was excellent, try and tip really, really well!
patience is a virtue. (im HATING on this one at the moment)
never be ashamed of how you feel; your feelings arent meant to be rational, thats why theyre feelings.
at the end of the day, be ok with the way things turned out.
theres a big difference between hearing and listening.
actions speak worlds louder than words.
never settle for just "alright;"always strive for the best.
the universe puts out "signs" for a reason, but its up to you to listen to'em.
wake up every day expecting good things to happen, and they will.
nothings ever really that bad...just think, it could always be worse!
go with your gut-your instinct/impression is usually right (especially for girls. um, hello? woman's intuition?!).
when you fall in love, dont hold back because when you give him your heart, youll get his in return.
never be conceited about anything-there will always be someone smarter, prettier, richer (etc) than you.
the grass is always greener on the other side so learn to be happy with your side of the fence =)
hold out for mr right, not mr right now.
never be ashamed of how you feel; your feelings arent meant to be rational, thats why theyre feelings.
at the end of the day, be ok with the way things turned out.
theres a big difference between hearing and listening.
actions speak worlds louder than words.
never settle for just "alright;"always strive for the best.
the universe puts out "signs" for a reason, but its up to you to listen to'em.
wake up every day expecting good things to happen, and they will.
nothings ever really that bad...just think, it could always be worse!
go with your gut-your instinct/impression is usually right (especially for girls. um, hello? woman's intuition?!).
when you fall in love, dont hold back because when you give him your heart, youll get his in return.
never be conceited about anything-there will always be someone smarter, prettier, richer (etc) than you.
the grass is always greener on the other side so learn to be happy with your side of the fence =)
hold out for mr right, not mr right now.
everything, everything, everything happens for a reason.
smile.
as corny and cheesy as it may seem, try to live life by the golden rule (of reciprocity). that way, the bachi gods cant attack you. and believe me, the bachi gods are out there!
smile.
as corny and cheesy as it may seem, try to live life by the golden rule (of reciprocity). that way, the bachi gods cant attack you. and believe me, the bachi gods are out there!
i know theres more, but thats the best i can do right now...sharing is caring! happy days!!
Monday, February 9, 2009
happy monday =)
wow. what a difference a day makes!
yesterday was horrendously yucky...couldnt figure out why i ever bothered getting out of bed.
seriously.
it was one of those "wishicouldhavestayedinbedhuddledunderallofmyblanketsrefusingtoparticipateinsunday" kind of days. blah.
today...completely different! this morning was an: "ohmygoshletsgetthedaystarteditsgoingtobeagorgeouslyhappymonday" kind of morning, and despite the fact that the weather decided to pretend its a fickle girl and i feel like im starting to come down with something yucky, todays been an absolutely "yaay" kind of day. and the weird thing is, i cant figure out the "why." nothing spectacular in the same ol' brushing my teeth and getting ready routine. same ol' starbucks coffee. same ol' drive to work with the same ol' parking spot.same ol' typical monday morning patients. hmmm...yeah, nothing significant or anything.
but im smiling.
weird.
maybe its a sign that something wonderful is about to happen. maybe its the universes way of telling me "see? im not always mean to you." or...maybe its because i love it when its overcast outside. maybe because i talked to my favorite person today. maybe its because i sketched something for valentines day that i plan on posting to facebook. maybe its because i have a new chapstick. maybe its my new tokidoki'd out incase. maybe its because jonas didnt cry when i held him and kassius gave me the biggest smile when he saw me. maybe its because im wearing my favorite scarf. maybe its because "one tree hill" is on tv tonight and im a sucker for unrequited love. *sigh (ha! theres my sigh XP ) maybe its because my new tumbler is the ugliest moldiest shiniest green, ever. maybe its because my best buddys home and im going to get him to drink coffee again, even if he doesnt know it yet. maybe its because i like the weird things my hair decided to do this morning. maybe its because i started exercising again. maybe its because its raining again. maybe its because i watched bits&pieces of jarhead again last night. *sigh (thats a giggly sigh [i have the biggest teenagery crush on jake gyllenhaal]) maybe its because i suddenly realized how amazingly odd and funky my email address is (rika? the rhino?? haha-if it was an actual character, her best friend would have to be jerome the giraffe!!).
or maybe its okay to not have a reason...ive been told those make for the best kind of days...
just because im a firm believer in paying things forward... HAPPY DAYS to whoever reads this! XD
yesterday was horrendously yucky...couldnt figure out why i ever bothered getting out of bed.
seriously.
it was one of those "wishicouldhavestayedinbedhuddledunderallofmyblanketsrefusingtoparticipateinsunday" kind of days. blah.
today...completely different! this morning was an: "ohmygoshletsgetthedaystarteditsgoingtobeagorgeouslyhappymonday" kind of morning, and despite the fact that the weather decided to pretend its a fickle girl and i feel like im starting to come down with something yucky, todays been an absolutely "yaay" kind of day. and the weird thing is, i cant figure out the "why." nothing spectacular in the same ol' brushing my teeth and getting ready routine. same ol' starbucks coffee. same ol' drive to work with the same ol' parking spot.same ol' typical monday morning patients. hmmm...yeah, nothing significant or anything.
but im smiling.
weird.
maybe its a sign that something wonderful is about to happen. maybe its the universes way of telling me "see? im not always mean to you." or...maybe its because i love it when its overcast outside. maybe because i talked to my favorite person today. maybe its because i sketched something for valentines day that i plan on posting to facebook. maybe its because i have a new chapstick. maybe its my new tokidoki'd out incase. maybe its because jonas didnt cry when i held him and kassius gave me the biggest smile when he saw me. maybe its because im wearing my favorite scarf. maybe its because "one tree hill" is on tv tonight and im a sucker for unrequited love. *sigh (ha! theres my sigh XP ) maybe its because my new tumbler is the ugliest moldiest shiniest green, ever. maybe its because my best buddys home and im going to get him to drink coffee again, even if he doesnt know it yet. maybe its because i like the weird things my hair decided to do this morning. maybe its because i started exercising again. maybe its because its raining again. maybe its because i watched bits&pieces of jarhead again last night. *sigh (thats a giggly sigh [i have the biggest teenagery crush on jake gyllenhaal]) maybe its because i suddenly realized how amazingly odd and funky my email address is (rika? the rhino?? haha-if it was an actual character, her best friend would have to be jerome the giraffe!!).
or maybe its okay to not have a reason...ive been told those make for the best kind of days...
just because im a firm believer in paying things forward... HAPPY DAYS to whoever reads this! XD
Monday, February 2, 2009
sigh...sigh...sigh...sigh...sigh...sigh...sigh... ...
*SIGH*
you know that saying, "no man is an island"? sometimes i wish that it was crap. you know, like if you really, really wanted to be your own little one man island you totally could be.
yup, its one of those days.
so ive come to terms with my own bouts of drama; its inevitable that youre going to be subject to it every once in awhile...
but seriously?!! why are we forced to deal with other peoples drama??!!!
why oh why oh why oh why???
arrghhh!!! X|
first, you have to listen to it. then youre typically made to pick a side. then you usually have to listen to it some more. then if youre a lucky, lucky girl (like i am XD - thats a sarcastic smile by the way)-youre "asked" to take care of it (and when i say "asked" i mean, poked in the back with a sharp stick as you say, "ok, ok, im going/ill do it" as the back poker is saying "well? what are you going to do about it? let me tell you what you should do about it! now when are you going to do something about it? blahblahBLAHBLAHBLAH"). and then youll probably have to listen to it some more.
and please keep in mind, you actually have nothing to do with it; you just happen to know the wrong people.
yay for having people in your life.
*sigh*
if i shut my eyes really, really tight, i can envision myself, completely alone and far, far, faaaaar away on a desert island, waving at all of those drama for your momma people...with a big ol' fat smile plastered all over my face.
*sigh*
well, maybe not totally alone. id keep a sea turtle for a pet.
*sigh*
you know that saying, "no man is an island"? sometimes i wish that it was crap. you know, like if you really, really wanted to be your own little one man island you totally could be.
yup, its one of those days.
so ive come to terms with my own bouts of drama; its inevitable that youre going to be subject to it every once in awhile...
but seriously?!! why are we forced to deal with other peoples drama??!!!
why oh why oh why oh why???
arrghhh!!! X|
first, you have to listen to it. then youre typically made to pick a side. then you usually have to listen to it some more. then if youre a lucky, lucky girl (like i am XD - thats a sarcastic smile by the way)-youre "asked" to take care of it (and when i say "asked" i mean, poked in the back with a sharp stick as you say, "ok, ok, im going/ill do it" as the back poker is saying "well? what are you going to do about it? let me tell you what you should do about it! now when are you going to do something about it? blahblahBLAHBLAHBLAH"). and then youll probably have to listen to it some more.
and please keep in mind, you actually have nothing to do with it; you just happen to know the wrong people.
yay for having people in your life.
*sigh*
if i shut my eyes really, really tight, i can envision myself, completely alone and far, far, faaaaar away on a desert island, waving at all of those drama for your momma people...with a big ol' fat smile plastered all over my face.
*sigh*
well, maybe not totally alone. id keep a sea turtle for a pet.
*sigh*
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